Bleed out

My head is empty and my heart screams for justice

Thoughts are too confusing to comprehend.

My heart just makes sense when I listen to it closely.

My head then resists to let the heart bleed one last time.

Your love can only take over this deepness that resides.

My heart can't take the pain anymore it cries.

Hard into the night, I can't seem to lie.

To my heart that screams so hard and uncontrollably.

What is that I've done to deserve this pain?

What makes sense is the longing that remains,

In my heart, I can't escape the deep.

It's the deep that calls out to deep.

One last time I will scream out,

But this time from my mouth and not my heart.

I want to grasp all that's for me in this life

and lead a future into the most perfect destiny.

I must give up the pain at night and lay everything at my bed side.

Only He can save me through it all.

Deep within my heart I still hold on,

but it doesn't matter when it was defeated over 2,000 years ago.

Why do I keep listening to the pain of nothing in my head from my heart?

Why don't I let it go and be strong?

I'm reminded, I am only human and I make mistakes,

but my heart wasn't made in mistake because He knows me.

So let it go, I say to my soul.

Let all that wrong pain subside and dissipate.

Let it go forever from my heart and let my head understand.

It was never my fault or pain to take at first.

Let it go and realize that I was made for Glory.
Let it run out and bleed one last time.

Let the rivers flow and the tide rise high

and this time I won't drown when He is there right by my side.

So now, I have a story.

A story that can't be changed, but told.

A story that lives on from bitter to better

and my life changed, made new in His perfect plan and hands.

-J.Davis 9/23/09

Falling Up

I had this revelation about a favorite song of mine. If you get a chance, look up the band Falling Up. Their song I had a revelation on is called, Broken Heart. Here are the lyrics:

In this moment synchronized inside

Words that paint the legacy of life

A different picture will unfold

A healing finds it's way through

Sifted times I take another breathe,

With the ambience of nothing left

So heal my heart, rain down Your love, these waters bring me back to life

Father, Healer

Deliever me from broken love

Stay here, Closer

Let me hear Your voice of love

There's a healing calling from the wind

There's a Healer waiting to begin

In timeless places, traced and faceless will I learn to let go

Take me to the heights where Love controls,

Far away from home but feels so close

This empty heart of mine will fall inside and bring me back to life

Father, Healer

Deliver me from broken love

Stay here, Closer

Let me hear Your voice of love

You can hold

You can mend

You can heal

You can break, I hold cause something etched this way

Saviour, Redeemer

Bring me to this place of Peace

Jesus, guardian

My broken heart is so in need

Originally, I fell in love with this song when my father left my family and I was 16 years old. I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I wanted to hide everyday I got home from high-school. I wanted to kill myself. I really did. I wanted to get away and not experience life anymore. I happened to stumble across this song one day on the radio and I loved it. I went to the store and bought the CD and popped the dang thing in my CD player in my car and rocked out to the entire CD. It made driving easier and made me get into a good song.

Just a few months ago, I had a relationship in my life end and I cranked this song on again, but it was blaring from my laptop speakers this time. So, I went from being hurt from my own father to having a close relationship end and this was the song that held me together with Jesus. I rocked out to the song again. I danced my tears away. Little did I realize at the time that God held my tears in a bottle.

Now, I put the song again the other day and I had this huge revelation. So, I looked up the lyrics to study them closely. I started to feel my jaw drop and then I let the tears well up in my eyes. My heart got touched for real this time.

The love that the artist sings about in Broken Heart is about the love that in the world that God can save us from and then in turn give us the perfect love. It's about getting everything you need and more from the Father. God is the satisfier of our souls and He wants to be the lover of our souls. When we encounter life and get disappointed, we encounter broken love. Through that brokenness in the world's love, we sometimes don't know where to turn and get healed and move on. However, there's a better hope. That hope of healing is from God. The song sings about God being our Redeemer and giving us peace in a good, positive state of God's love.

This song doesn't give me the same feeling as it did before. It will never be a song about how my heart was broken and I needed mending again. It's not about love you find on earth. People disappoint you. God will never disappoint you. This time my heart got so deep in God's love that I will always listen to this song with hope and excitement from now on. My heart will forever be swept away in a closer love and healing waters. God is etched in my heart forever.