Saturday, August 8, 2009

My life is in His hands.

Lord, my life belongs to you.
What do you want me to do?
I'll follow you all my days.
I want you to reign Glory in my ways.
My heart is in Your hands,
make my paths visit many lands.
I exalt Your name on high
and give praise to You until I die.

I wrote this little ditty in hopes to get my feelings out on "paper." The Lord has shifted the winds in my life and has brought me into a new season and with a new season and a shift in the wind, there is definitely going to be change. That change is something I know I have to embrace and I'm taking the jump and stepping forward in Faith that God will direct my steps as to wherever I am to go for Him.
I keep going to Abba multiple times during the day and I ask Him where I'm going after this summer and ministry team ends and He replies every time, "Jenelle, trust me!" Every time Abba Daddy tells me that, I literally sit back and laugh because I keep forgetting that I need to trust Him. Trust is such a hard thing to do in people's lives. In my life, trust was broken many times and God has been reminding me that He wasn't those people that caused mistrust in me. God is a restorer of trust and He will never leave me nor forsake me. So again. I say it again. Everyday I wake up with so many things on my mind and God just says, "Jenelle, trust me!" There has to come to a point where you have to believe in your spirit, in your body, that God is trust-worthy. He is the ultimate power in the world and He is our creator. So... why do I keep worrying about life situations and choices when all I should say is, "Daddy, I trust You!" It sounds simple, but it took me all summer to revelate on that word, Trust. I'm just in the baby stages now of understanding how to trust in God. It's really obvious that I need to trust in God for everything because it says in Proverbs 3: 5 and 6 that we can cast our cares upon Him and He will direct our paths. Who else can do that for me? I know the creator of the world can do that for me. My Abba Daddy can take care of me. It's really cool.
My little poem I wrote signifies something more within me too. I want to lay everything at the ground in my life and pick up my cross and follow God. I seriously can't take just sitting back and just making it every week and attending Church. I want to be that salt and light in the world and make a difference in people's lives and share the Father's love with people. I want the sick healed, the dead raised and the blind to see. I want people saved and going to heaven. I want to be a disciple. The only way that's going to happen is if I pick up my cross and follow Jesus. At 23 years old, I finally figured out what my call is in life. It's to change the world with one life at a time, while giving all Glory to Jesus Christ.
I want to travel one day too. I've already had the privilege of traveling around New York State. I've been up the whole east coast and stayed in many of the east coast states. I've never been to the west coast and I get a chance to just in 2 weeks. God is just blessing me and I can't even fathom what more I have to conquer and do for him in my next season that I am walking into now.
The last part about my little poem is the most powerful to me. I have chosen this summer to honor God and trust Him in my life until I die. That's a big step in someones life and it's worth it, because we all end up dying anyway. Instead of having a finite death, I have eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven with Abba Daddy. That's something to get crazy excited about!
I want to leave this with you as the reader. Read Jeremiah 29:11 and Josh 1:3. God has a purpose for you and a destiny for Him that He wishes to fulfill in your life on the earth. He also wishes to show you that when you read the Word, meditate on Him daily and pray. It's a powerful thing to figure out your future through Christ and trust in Him in all your ways, because He will, by His promises, direct your every path.

Bendice a Dios.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I'm diving deeper and deeper

Today I said "see ya later" to a sister in the Lord. Eleanor from my ministry team just left today to go home to New Hampshire and get ready for the next season in her life. She is attending college on the 16th of August and she plays Field Hockey; so that's why she is leaving early for her freshman year of college at Gordon University in MA. I hope sometime to visit her while she is out there. Anyway, God has just been digging in my heart. If you can, humor me a little bit. Imagine a sandbox with tons of brown and tan sand. Imagine all of the sand in a big, square, red sandbox. The red sandbox represents my heart and the sand represents the inner things of my heart. If you've ever played with sand or played in a sandbox, you will know that the sand gets everywhere and goes everywhere. It has multiple amounts of little tiny pebbles and stones in it that are ground up to be really soft when you step in it or play with it. When it's wet you can create sand castles and when it's dry you can't really do anything with it. Keep imagining this okay?! When sand is wet you can create a lot of things with it. I remember being 5 and 6 years old and playing with my sister at a beach and making sand castles and buildings. It was fun, but you had to have the sand wet. God showed me that I need to be wet in my heart for Him. The sand in my heart needs to be wet; if you're still imagining this with me :) The sand in my sand boxed heart is wet and God is going deeper. For this entire summer, God has been wetting my heart and digging junk out of my heart. When you play at the beach or in a sand castle, you'll find many hidden things randomly through out your sand area. In my heart, I had many hidden things that God was digging and pulling up and out. Some of those little things or big things that were in my heart were bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, shame, condemnation, guilt, loneliness, conditional love, rejection, and lust. Those were just a few to name. My heart had to be wet in order for God to dig into it. My heart was hardened and dry. Life was being sucked out of me and I thought I was okay in life and had everything all set in my life. I was wrong. Soon as I started this ministry on a team that supports each other, God tore those deceivement walls down and broke my heart open and down poured on my heart. The wetness symbolized the river of God to me. The wet sandbox in my heart is being remolded to be a different foundation for my life. That foundation of sand is developing right now into a foundation of a rock. Somewhere in Exodus, it says roughly that we can stand on God and he is our rock and fortress. I think somewhere in Psalms it says that too. The sand has turned into a solid foundation of rock. God is my rock now. I am set on a rock that can't be taken from me. The foundation can't move because it's Jesus Christ as my solid companion. Those things that were in my sandbox, my heart, God replaced them with: unconditional love, a Father's heart, fulfillment of life, peace, joy, happiness, and grace.
I want to encourage those who are reading this and say that God wants you to go deeper in Him. This whole story has taken place in my life just this past summer of 2009. It was a deliverance season for me because God wanted me to be whole again. He wanted me to know where my foundation would be made and created; in Him. He wanted me to go through this process to learn that I have been created for a purpose and my destiny is in His hands. In Jeremiah 1 it says that I was created in my mother's womb with a purpose and that God knew me before I even was created. I'm glad I know that even more so now because I was destined to be in love with God. He created me in love. My heart was destined to be God's. I want to leave a scripture verse with you so that you all are inspired to meditate on God's Word more and know His promises to prosper you and to give you a future and a hope. Psalm 73:24, "You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny."