Abandonment

I woke up the other morning with the words, "Wreckless Abandonment." This happens a lot. I wake up from a night's full of rest and sleep and I get these words or scripture verses buzzing in my spirit. Most of the time I have to run to my Bible and look up the scripture verse, right down the words given to me or just sit there in my bed smacking my pillow like, "What the heck?" I discovered over the past couple of weeks that it's been God downloading these "notes" to me. Then, therefore, I'm really, extremely prompted to jump up and go meditate on them afterward. It's great - really, but sometimes I get so wrecked over what topics or subjects God gives me I can't even say them out loud. Again, I revert back to my pillow and just smack it more. My poor pillow. I think I need to sleep with more than one pillow so I can give them some rest from the abuse I subject them to.

Anyway - I was wondering why "Wreckless Abandonment" was downloaded in my spirit. I didn't know what it meant. I've heard it plenty of times in the saying, "Go after it, the thing you want, with wreckless abandonment." What does that really mean? What was God trying to tell me? What did I need to learn and know from these two puzzling words? So, I started to break down these words for about 30 minutes and this is what I came up with. Wreckless means, without causing harm. Also, abandonment. This means leaving all behind and never looking back or terminating something you were involved with.

Again, lets go back to my poor pillow I sleep with. I wanted to annihilate the dang thing and pull its feathers out. What the heck do these words mean to me with these definitions? So - it came to me that God wants me to follow Him in wreckless abandonment. It just means, when I follow God with all of my heart, I won't be abandoned or wrecked. Nor will I cause things to be wrecked. When I follow God and lay everything down at His feet, I can do it without causing harm and terminate everything I am doing in life. I was reminded of Luke 22:23 where God said that if we want to follow Him, we need to pick up our cross daily and by loosing everything, I will gain everything in eternal life.

Man, that was a powerful lesson for me. I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I need to pick my cross daily and just follow Jesus in wreckless abandonment. The truest test of this lifestyle is if the fruit of my walk shows. I want to get to this point and I think God wants me to as well. It's a faith and trust jump. It's okay and it's all good.

Well now - I'm waiting for more knowledge from God in the morning. So I can beat my pillow again and not hurt anything too seriously. My pillow can take it (I think) - haha :]

Loved

You've strieved, worked and pushed.

You were hurt, put down, tossed aside.

You've been betrayed.

The days of wrong need to stop! - You scream.

The pain that throbs sometimes can't be handled.

But there will be a day of no more fear, tears and dismay.

Beloved,

I've been sent to save you!

Let me hold you tight as my lover of my soul.

Let me wipe those tears.

Let me pour out the oil of gladness and rise up your destiny in me.

I love You Child.

I wrote this on a plane ride... It's Jesus talking.