Changes

It's a new month already! It's June 1st. I can't believe it. I can just think back to when I took my 3 week trip to Mexico, this past January. I was there for a cross-cultural trip that gave me 3 credits for a language requirement at my Alma mater. A lot of change has happened since then; January.
I'm at my grandparents' house just 20 minutes from my own. My Nannie and Papa are my father's parents. They're the only grandparents I have ever had in my entire life. My mother has a living father, but he has not taken any interest in the lives of his grand-children. However, I feel blessed with my Nannie and Papa. I'm sitting at my Papa's new computer. He has a desktop with a wide screen LCD. I love the 17" wide screen LCDs. They're so awesome! It's a beautiful day outside too. It's about 69 degrees or so. It's enjoyable outside and you don't need a jacket. Just wear your flip flops on y our feet and go. I'm going to sit outside on my grandparents' front porch soon. They have to 2 rocking chairs from the Cracker Barrel. They got these two beautiful wooden rocking chairs as a Christmas gift from their kids and grand kids. They love 'em.
I woke up this morning thinking about this guy I broke up with last week. I was thinking about how I would call him, "My love," and how much I depended upon him to call me, pay attention to me, call me his "Angel" and talk to me on the phone everyday. I loved the warmth and love I got from him. I woke this morning missing it. I realized that even though we broke up over the phone, he's gone and out of my life. I can't have him back. I have to learn over this summer to let him go, even more than in my heart. He has to be released from my thoughts, as my love, and be released from soul. I really loved him; whole-hearted. I really did and that's perfectly ok. I believe now in people meeting others and realizing that they can have loved someone and move on. It's only been by the grace of God that have been this past week. And for sure, it's extremely too early to say that I am over him. I am, but only in a way of getting use to letting the relationship go. I'm so sure that he is having a hard time with this too; however. I know he struggles with change and not having someone by his side, more than I do. I pray for him often so the pain can easily be taken away for him and for me. It's definitely been an eye opener for me and a non regrettable experience. I've treasured the time I had with him and I appreciate the lessons he taught me. He was used by God to bring love, happiness and joy to my life, but it was for such a time as this past 2 years have been.
I never actually thought that all through, until now. Until I wrote it all out. You know, I haven't cried since the day after we broke up. I don't hold my emotions in anymore, I just feel like there is so much peace around me, I'm peaceful about the whole thing. It's good to feel this way. I know the chapter in my life was closed and I got to write the ending with him and still be great friends with him. It will take more time to get use to it all, but it's all good time of healing and growing. It gives me time to be me again; for sure.
So, the change part comes in my life right now. I'm doing this service learning trip for 9 weeks and I'm excited. I have time to be doing what I love and that's spending time with God, friends, new friends, others, leaders, passionate people of God and traveling. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be an awesome summer of change and another chapter in my life of God's peace and joy. Evermore of an abundance of love and good change!