Falling Up

I had this revelation about a favorite song of mine. If you get a chance, look up the band Falling Up. Their song I had a revelation on is called, Broken Heart. Here are the lyrics:

In this moment synchronized inside

Words that paint the legacy of life

A different picture will unfold

A healing finds it's way through

Sifted times I take another breathe,

With the ambience of nothing left

So heal my heart, rain down Your love, these waters bring me back to life

Father, Healer

Deliever me from broken love

Stay here, Closer

Let me hear Your voice of love

There's a healing calling from the wind

There's a Healer waiting to begin

In timeless places, traced and faceless will I learn to let go

Take me to the heights where Love controls,

Far away from home but feels so close

This empty heart of mine will fall inside and bring me back to life

Father, Healer

Deliver me from broken love

Stay here, Closer

Let me hear Your voice of love

You can hold

You can mend

You can heal

You can break, I hold cause something etched this way

Saviour, Redeemer

Bring me to this place of Peace

Jesus, guardian

My broken heart is so in need

Originally, I fell in love with this song when my father left my family and I was 16 years old. I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I wanted to hide everyday I got home from high-school. I wanted to kill myself. I really did. I wanted to get away and not experience life anymore. I happened to stumble across this song one day on the radio and I loved it. I went to the store and bought the CD and popped the dang thing in my CD player in my car and rocked out to the entire CD. It made driving easier and made me get into a good song.

Just a few months ago, I had a relationship in my life end and I cranked this song on again, but it was blaring from my laptop speakers this time. So, I went from being hurt from my own father to having a close relationship end and this was the song that held me together with Jesus. I rocked out to the song again. I danced my tears away. Little did I realize at the time that God held my tears in a bottle.

Now, I put the song again the other day and I had this huge revelation. So, I looked up the lyrics to study them closely. I started to feel my jaw drop and then I let the tears well up in my eyes. My heart got touched for real this time.

The love that the artist sings about in Broken Heart is about the love that in the world that God can save us from and then in turn give us the perfect love. It's about getting everything you need and more from the Father. God is the satisfier of our souls and He wants to be the lover of our souls. When we encounter life and get disappointed, we encounter broken love. Through that brokenness in the world's love, we sometimes don't know where to turn and get healed and move on. However, there's a better hope. That hope of healing is from God. The song sings about God being our Redeemer and giving us peace in a good, positive state of God's love.

This song doesn't give me the same feeling as it did before. It will never be a song about how my heart was broken and I needed mending again. It's not about love you find on earth. People disappoint you. God will never disappoint you. This time my heart got so deep in God's love that I will always listen to this song with hope and excitement from now on. My heart will forever be swept away in a closer love and healing waters. God is etched in my heart forever.

The Daniel Fast

I want to fast. This time I want to tackle some life decisions I have to make and trust God in everything. However, the fasting part comes in specifically to focus on getting closer with God. In the past, I did like weekly fasts or 30 day fasts and even lent in college, to take something out of my life for a time. I've done no sugar, no soda, no television, and all kinds of other stuff, but I did all these fasts in the past to make myself sacrifice something. I never once understood the true concept of fasting. It's suppose to be for God. Why was I doing it in the first place? Why did I pick no sugar or no soda? What was the meaning of it all? Well, I did it to sacrifice something that would help me loose a few lbs. It worked, but didn't last and sometimes I gave up. I even embraced the lent season in college. Often at Messiah College they have different cultural and spiritual events for you to take part in to feel included in the campus social realm. So, I did lent one time and took a brake for 40 days from myspace and soda. I don't have a myspace account anymore, and this was all of 3 years ago too. I didn't stop drinking soda after that and ironically, I didn't spend much time with Jesus. Wasn't I suppose to do that? Wasn't that the whole point?! Yeah, it was the point.

The point of fasting is to spend time with God and give up things to subtitute them with Jesus. I didn't realize that before. I was nieve - haha. The Daniel Fast has been on my heart for a good month. Today I decided to research it and read up on it. If you get a chance, you should read up on it too. It's interesting. You know, God never once says in the Bible to fast. We as Christians aren't required to do it to enter the Kingdom of Heaven or really be a part of this believer's family. No not at all. It's a personal choice, but God does specify that He wants us to spend time with Him. In Song of Solomons, God calls out to us and when we draw near to Him, He will in return draw near to us.

I've decided to start looking into preparing for the Daniel Fast. I have to figure out what the requirements are, what I can and can not do. I also will be praying about it and asking God how long He wants me to do it. That's a very key point. How long should I do it and what am I doing during it? This fast specifically focuses on eating only certain foods while focusing on spending more time with God. My adventure starts soon on this and I want to really press in and spend time with God more. It's important and good stuff.

So in conclusion, my encouragement for you all today - if you are searching for something, if you're wanting a deeper relationship with God, if you're searching for your purpose in life, spend time with God and see if He wants you to fast something and focus on Him. God wants you. He wants your heart. He wants your attention. He wants your life. He gave you life, lets give it back.

Blessings from my heart to yours :]

Don't lose the Hope found in His beauty

"Don't loose Hope, Jenelle," is what I heard when I woke up this morning. God revealed and spoke to me this morning before I even began my day. He knew that today would be different for me. He knew I would face some things that would bother me. He knew I would drink 4 cups of coffee and be sitting down writing a blog note at almost 10 o'clock at night. He just knew every thing about me. He knew I wanted to give up today on every thing and anything. God knew I rose this morning without hope. So, He woke me up to remind that my hope isn't to be lost, but to be found, rooted and established in Him.

Today was an easy, but hard day. I know both of those words are complete opposites, but that was my day. I didn't have much to do except go get a hair cut. The hair cut was relaxing and easy, but the hard part of my day was trying to find my hope. As I just sit here at the end of my day, God revealed to me scripture verses about hope. There's one that stuck out to me from the book of Psalms and its from Psalms 31:24. It says, "Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord." There's quite a few verses in Psalms that are good to read about hope in the Lord and this one just stood out to me the most.

There were times today that I felt like I was hopeless. What I mean is that I feel like my future doesn't hold much for me. I feel used up, disappointed, hurt, wounded, and thrown aside. However, what I am reminded of the most is that God is my hope and in that hope in my Abba Father, I can be free and trust again. I think I've talked about trust before. It's hard to do if you have a past of betrayel, hatred and mistrust from people who have hurt you. That was me long ago it seems, but now, my hope is to be found in a being that doesn't or hasn't betrayed, hurt, wounded or thrown me aside ever.

It's a time of strengthening my heart. Really, this season that God has placed me in has been a very initmate season. It says in Song of Solomon 4 that God longs for His bride. He wishes to stare at our eyes, see our faces and hear our voices. It's been a season of big change for me and the biggest is being called to love God on a deeper and romantic level. In this level of covenant with God, trust and hope are established. It's just mind blowing to me. As I sit hear at my laptop and desk, I can't fathom this whole thing. I think I know how I am loved and where my hope is found, but I don't have the slightlest little inkling. I know it, but I need to KNOW it for sure. That knowing feeling needs to be so deep that I don't sit here again and write about how bad I felt today.

In 1 John, God says I am an overcomer. Today was a day of overcoming doubt and fear personally. I have nothing to fear really, because my hope is in Christ alone. That is where my trust should be grounded. It's hard man. We all have pasts that tell a specific story, but it's time that I rise up and forget the past. Sometimes the past can creep up and try to dictate how I feel or what I should feel and those are assignments that kingdom of hell have for me, but the Kingdom of Heaven knows my future so that's it. That's it! It's finished when Christ died on the cross. My pain, sorrow, hopelessness, doubt, fear, loneliness and more were finished and taken from me. God did it long ago. Why do I feel I need to face hopelessness everyday then? I'm only human. I'm not perfect. We all aren't perfect. So there's going to be days were we fall and don't make the cut of the day, but it's okay because God rescues us.

I know today Jesus rescued me. I know He became my hero today. He swept me up today in His arms and loved on me in our quiet time together. He became my hero today and it felt good.